Today in the studio...

Signing limited edition certificates for

BOEGLI WATCHES of Switzerland -

"The Four Seasons" Hand Painted Dials

Musical Pocket Watches.

 

 

 

“Be still...
stillness reveals the secrets of eternity”

Wise words...

"The promises of this world are, for the most part, worthless, vain phantoms.
To confide in one's self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course."
- Michelangelo

Beautiful...mesmerising.

An admission...

All my life I have lived with synesthesia...
I didn't tell anyone, it was just part of me and how I related to the world, I didn't even really know it was a "condition"...
so what was there to tell?

I lived life fully and it all made sense, as I say...it was a part of me.
About 12 months ago it left me...just vanished, not a quick disappearance, more like a slow bleaching of thought and feeling.....then it was gone!

"They" say perhaps because of a cocktail of prescription drugs I was on for a prolonged period.

Who knows..

It doesn't matter why...

it just happened.

No longer do the shapes and sounds and colours and flavours and fragrances follow me and help me to cope with my every day existence.

I am now alone in my head (and I hate it), my friend from childhood has gone, the one that made Wednesdays warm and round with a tinkling sound like the high end of a xylophone...the friend who made "C" a dancing orange 3D block and ordered my thoughts into colourful spring loaded filing boxes that held sounds and scents as well.

The last 12 months have been terrible, I feel like I have had to re-learn myself, who I am...
what I can do.

To many, all this may be complete and utter nonsense, and to a few you may be able to get it.

I just needed to say it out loud.

If I have been distant or hard to get along with, I apologise, but I am trying to cope with a whole new world and a whole new way of thinking.

I hope I can come to grips with it...but...
it is hard...
REALLY hard.

Now that I have stopped taking the drugs that could have caused this....
I hope in time my childhood friend returns.

DIARY ENTRY - April 28, 2017. MELBOURNE VICTORIA

I feel numb...
I haven't felt this way since 1984, which was the last time I had seen any of Vincent Van Gogh's work en masse in Amsterdam....back then the numbness enveloped me as i finally came face to face with the work of the artist I had admired since my childhood.
....nothing has changed...
Back then I was 26 years old, just starting life as an artist. At that time in my life I had, had sell out shows at one of my hometown's finest galleries and I was "on the way"...
then after seeing Vincent's work I didn't pick up a paint brush for over 12 months...
how could I?
Why would I?...I felt so inadequate, and I could not even begin to think I was worthy to call myself an artist.
So for about 18 months I cut steel and welded, carved wood with chainsaw and chisel... brutal work, work that didn't profess to be art, I avoided brushes and paint as best I could.
That 18 months passed and while the memory of Vincent and his impact remained strong, my unworthiness diluted and I started to paint again.
After seeing the show today, at the age of 59 I again feel that I have no right to paint...as an artist he was everything that is, he created everything there was and could be....he was a true genius.
God Bless you Vincent.  

"Vase with Zinnias and Other Flowers, Summer 1886"
Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890)