Tuesday, May 02, 2017

DIARY ENTRY - April 28, 2017. MELBOURNE VICTORIA


I feel numb...
I haven't felt this way since 1984, which was the last time I had seen any of Vincent Van Gogh's work en masse in Amsterdam....back then the numbness enveloped me as i finally came face to face with the work of the artist I had admired since my childhood.
....nothing has changed...
Back then I was 26 years old, just starting life as an artist. At that time in my life I had, had sell out shows at one of my hometown's finest galleries and I was "on the way"...
then after seeing Vincent's work I didn't pick up a paint brush for over 12 months...
how could I?
Why would I?...I felt so inadequate, and I could not even begin to think I was worthy to call myself an artist.
So for about 18 months I cut steel and welded, carved wood with chainsaw and chisel... brutal work, work that didn't profess to be art, I avoided brushes and paint as best I could.
That 18 months passed and while the memory of Vincent and his impact remained strong, my unworthiness diluted and I started to paint again.
After seeing the show today, at the age of 59 I again feel that I have no right to paint...as an artist he was everything that is, he created everything there was and could be....he was a true genius.
God Bless you Vincent.  


"Vase with Zinnias and Other Flowers, Summer 1886"
Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890)